How I Was Raised

When I think about fatherhood, I always go back to how I was raised. My dad wasn’t perfect, but he was there. He coached my soccer teams, drove us around, helped build the childcare center that my parents ran for 30 years, and worked in the stockbroking world at the same time. He wore a lot of hats, but one thing he never dropped was being present. Whether it was showing up to my games or making sure we had what we needed, he was around. And that left a mark on me.

Now that I’m a dad myself, I see how much work it takes to just be there. It sounds simple, but life gets busy. Between work, bills, responsibilities, and everything else pulling at your attention, it takes real effort to stay grounded and keep showing up for your kids every single day. But that’s the part of fatherhood that matters most—just being there.

What My Kids Teach Me

I’ve got kids of my own now, and they’ve changed the way I look at everything. They remind me daily that it’s not the big moments that stick—it’s the small ones. It’s swimming together on a warm day. It’s sitting on the couch watching football or basketball. It’s the rides to school, the quick “I love yous,” and the talks at bedtime when they suddenly decide to open up.

You learn fast as a dad that your kids are always watching, even when you think they aren’t. They pick up on how you treat people, how hard you work, how you handle stress. They see how you talk to their mom, how you care for the dog, how you keep your word—or don’t. That responsibility can feel heavy sometimes, but it’s also a gift. It pushes me to be better.

They’ve also taught me patience, in a way I didn’t know I needed. Kids don’t care if you’ve had a long day detailing cars or if you didn’t sleep well. They need you to show up for them, even when you’re tired. They want your time, your attention, and your love, not just your paycheck.

Balancing Work and Family

I work full-time in the auto industry, detailing cars at a dealership. It’s hard, physical work, and the days can be long. But no matter how tired I am, when I get home, I do my best to be present. I want my kids to know that I didn’t just work for them—I lived life with them. That’s important to me.

Balancing work and fatherhood isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. Some days I miss things I wish I didn’t. But I try to be there for the big stuff and make the small moments count, too. Even if it’s just dinner together or watching a movie, that time adds up. It tells them they matter.

There’s also something powerful about letting your kids see you work hard. I don’t hide the effort it takes to provide for them. I want them to understand that doing something well, whether it’s cleaning a car or keeping a promise, means showing up every day and doing your best. That lesson matters more than words.

Passing Down Values

A big part of being a dad, to me, is passing down values. I try to teach my kids to be kind, to work hard, and to treat others with respect. I want them to understand that giving back matters—whether it’s helping a neighbor, donating to a cause, or volunteering your time.

Growing up, my family supported a food pantry in St. Louis. Around the holidays, we’d collect and drop off food, school supplies, and gifts. At the time, I didn’t fully get it. But now I do. That’s the kind of thing that stays with you. I want my kids to know that helping others isn’t something extra—it’s part of life.

I also hope they find something they love, like I’ve found with detailing cars. Whether it’s cars, sports, or something else entirely, I want them to chase what brings them joy and be proud of what they do. Not everything has to be about making money—some things are about making meaning.

Just Showing Up

At the end of the day, being a dad isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being there. It’s about listening when they need to talk, apologizing when you mess up, and showing love in a hundred small ways. Sometimes it’s playing catch. Sometimes it’s fixing a bike. Sometimes it’s just sitting beside them while they figure something out on their own.

I don’t have all the answers. I mess up sometimes. But I try. I try to be the dad who shows up, who works hard, and who loves without conditions. And if that’s what my kids remember about me, then I think I’ve done something right.

Fatherhood isn’t easy, but it’s one of the best things in my life. It keeps me grounded. It pushes me to grow. And every day, it gives me a reason to keep going. That’s something I’ll never take for granted.